In the beginning there was a professor who took up karate, a middle-aged everyman and "everywhere man" whom his watchful suburban neighbors claimed to spot doing his runs at all times of day and in all parts of town, even on streets where he had never set foot in haste. In explanation of this and other mysteries, like whether anyone really knows why leaves need to be raked and why sandwiches have to have a middle part, he took up column writing, which led to his "survival of the fittest" column recently winning the 2010 award for best column from the Garden State Journalists Association.
Through writing about them, he continues to unravel the mysteries of the universe at a staggering rate and will soon have an answer to the question of why snow needs to be shoveled and can't just be allowed to melt away.